Lonely London Lad's Beagle Dilemma
LLL is bequeathed 140 hunting hounds, now what..?
Update: I am warming up to the idea of taking care of these curious creatures. How much work can it be to feed, exercise, and groom 140 beagles? Surely an underground rock star such as myself can manage in his spare time? Well, I have decided to charter a jet to bring them over here in style. Why should they suffer in steerage? First class treatment is what Uncle Vivien would have wanted for them, so thus it shall be.
Those who follow the misadventures of LLL on MySpace status updates know that the other day, LLL inherited 140 hunting hounds (beagles) from his English uncle, the late 3rd Viscount of Stoneborough.
The only condition: They cannot be sold.
So LLL reached out to the MySpace community, his vast network of nearly 600,000 friends, and asked for advice on what he should do about the canine conundrum. As palatial as LLL's Beverly Hills Lad Pad may be, 140 hounds cannot be comfortably accommodated. He even asked his neighbor, Hugh Hefner, if they could be put up amongst the bunnies, and was politely told: "I have enough dogs of my own, thank you."
The outpouring of genuine concern, as well as genuine mirth, was heartwormwarming.
Here are some of the many comments posted by MySpacers in support of LLL's dilemma. For the sake of brevity, only a few of the hundreds received can be mentioned here, but all were read and 99% were much appreciated.
What the lovely MySpacers said:
"okay, no sell. but how bout give away. autograph em and have another contest. well 140 contests." -- ?GF
"Give them a reality t.v. show. Call it Beaglemania." -- D
"give them to random people on the street" -- Mark
"Donate to a nonprofit for use as therapy dogs in nursing homes & hospitals. Then, write off as a tax deduction. Allocate the $ savings for your Silver Cloud repairs and marmite expenses. Ottimizzazione! ;-)" -- polaris
"he must have had a great sense ofhumor, ahahaha" -- jociolin
"write a song about it! " -- Sophie-T
"Learn to love it." -- Scott
"set them free" -- Josh
"Are you serious?!?!? Write a book! This is the kind of stuff they makes movies from - really. " -- Belinda
"Open a Happy Hunting Hound Lodge. With every stay, the guests gets assigned their own hunting hound for the the duration. It's a hotel for dog lovers who can't have a dog at their apartment etc. or who travel too much, but who love would love to have a pet to love ocassionally." -- Sherrie
"Teach then some tricks and start a traveling musical dog show!" -- Vicki
"There is a charitable organization that caters to the terminally ill, in which they bring animals to visit these patients to enrich their lives. I'm sure they would be happy to receive such a generous donation and I think your uncle would be pleased with your decision to help sick people. Check out Therapy Dogs International or Delta Society Therapy Animals. I hope this is helpful." -- Mr. Anderson
"put a lll t shirt on each one ..free advertising /or/ put them in the boot with the winner" -- chrismust
"they can be your body guards! " -- Sjacks
"train them and open up a dog circus" -- Shroom
"set them loose downtown" -- IYL # 11
"Get them all on stage at one of your gigs - trippy!" -- Asteroid Moon
"sign them and sell them on ebay" -- maevis
"DON'T BRING THOSE DOGS TO LOS ANGELES. WE HAVE TOO MANY GODDAMN BARKING DOGS ALREADY!!!! SEND THOSE DOGS AWAY AS FAR AS POSSIBLE. THAT IS MY ADVICE TO YOU!!!!" -- leah williams
"Give one away with the purchase of each album." -- The Modern Prometheus
"You amuse me." -- brown fox
"Oh, wow...I thought I had problems. Wow. Good luck with that..." -- kelly
"CONTEST!" -- onjj
"get them an agent :D" -- Al be fine in the mornin'
"Take 'em all via bus to the dog beach in Huntington. Brings lots of poop scoopers, and duck decoys." -- Maniachael
"did your uncle leave you his mansion and money to house all of them??!!!" -- £¥?d€¥
