"Ask Myself Anything": Deadpan, Silly, English-flavoured Humour
I often see MySpacers write in their status update, "I'm bored, ask me anything." So I wondered, what if nobody asked any questions? Then you're left asking yourself questions. Like this:
Me: Have you ever spoken French with a parrot?
Myself: What kind of question is that? It's ridiculous.
Me: Just answer the question.
Myself: There are 372 species. Which one?
Me: Yellow-headed Amazon.
Myself: I honestly don't remember. Do you?
Me: I think we both know the answer to that...
Myself: Why are you winking? I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.
Me: Can't stand the heat, can you? Okay, here's an easy one: What is your favorite colour?
Myself: What a boring question! And you thought by spelling it with a "u" would make it more exotic?
Me: Look, I said I could ask myself anything, so answer me.
Myself: Blue. No. Black. No, no, a mix.
Me: Black and blue? What, bruise color?
Myself: Yes. No, strike that. Make it: Crimson.
Me: Sorry, can't change it once it has been entered. Next question: Have you ever been hurt?
Myself: How vague! Come now. Be more specific.
Me: Have you ever been hurt?
Myself: Persistent, aren't you? Yes, once or twice.
Me: That's a lie.
Myself: How do you know?
Me: Because I'm you.
Myself: Well then, why did you ask me, if you already knew the answer?
Me: I'm asking the questions here, not you. Ready for the next one?
Myself: Is that a question?
Me: Yes, that's a question. Are you ready for the next one?
Myself: Yes.
Me: Why are you talking to yourself?
Myself: Look who's talking!
Me: Nevermind that. Do lads who are supposedly from London, and who are supposedly lonely, normally talk to themselves?
Myself: That's a good question.
Me: I know it's a good question, now answer it.
Myself: "That's a good question" means "I don't know the answer."
Me: I think we're through here.
Myself: Is that a question?
Me: That is a statement.
I: Well done, us!
Me: I, who asked you?
I: Are you talking to me?
Myself: Easy, chaps, it was just an exercise.
