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Would you love to have a brand-new LLL art shirt, but for whatever reason cannot buy it?
Here's a novel solution: Offer to trade me something for it.
But it has to be something I would want. And I am hard to please.
So therefore, if you offer something I perceive to be of little or no value (your old clothing, your lunch, your bellybutton lint, etc.), then I will not take you up on the offer. Similarly, if it's something that cannot be mailed to me in the United States (such as a kiss, a dinner, a promise), I will also pass. It needs to be tangible, and mail-able, and valuable enough that I will be interested in trading. The exception to this is if you offer a service, but that service would have to be special and verifiable.
If you offer something of value, and I accept it, you will need to mail it to me. When I receive it, I will send you an art shirt in the size and color of your choice.
I'm doing this only because I think it's a fun idea. So suprise me with what you are willing to offer, and I'll suprise you if I accept. Make me an offer via my contact form. I will only contact you if I am intrigued by what you offer.
- LLL
Update: Here are some of the things I have been offered so far... along with my sardonic remarks on why I chose to pass on them...
| metal lawn gnome | Only if it's the same one used in "Amelie" |
| dvd/vcr player | I suppose I could add it to my current stack of DVD players and make a stairway to heaven |
| a metalzone distortion pedal with used bass string | how about a complete set of used bass strings? |
| baseball signed by Kenny Lofton | I'd prefer Babe Ruth |
| LAPD beer mug | Empty or full? |
| Dukes of Hazzard DVD | Too hazzardous to my IQ |
| The (UK) Office Complete First Series with some black pudding as a bonus | I preferred the Christmas special, and only the scene when the sidekick zooms by in the sidecar of the motorcyle |
| 50 kung fu movie DVD set | I haven't reached the point in my life where I would sit through 50 kung fu movies, and I am thankful for that |
| will make a puppet that looks like you or whoever else you want it to look like | that would inspire me to make a music video with the puppet, and I don't think that's a good idea |
| 8GB ipod Nano | They sell for $153 new. I suspect this particular unit has technical issues. |
| sex with my girlfriend | Your girlfriend needs a new boyfriend |
| zebra print bow tie | I already have 15 of those |
| Salvador Dali book | I'd rather have a Dali painting |
| "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter" DVD | I'd prefer the sequel, "Jesus-Christ-Hunting Vampire" |
| a party night in Germany | I'll fly to Germany with the shirt, sounds like a good trade |
| 3 Hentai VHS tapes | I'm getting a lot of people trying to get rid of VHS tapes... |
| Richard Wagner bust | Alas, he had a fine bust |
| a drawing of a pony with rainbows in his pockets | Make it a real pony with real rainbows in his pockets and you've got a deal |
| bottle of rum | aye aye, matey! |
| screen print of a mermaid | I'll take the original mermaid instead |
| two back issues of Rolling Stone and Spin from 2000 | The only thing better than an industry trade rag is an old industry trade rag |
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